Charlie II

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter 1: Critique -----------------------------------------------------------

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Three Critique (Parts 1 & 2) ------------------------------------------

I'll take whatever help I can get so if you have a full critique then go for it! You will, whether you like it or not :P, have me critiquing ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter Two Critique ----------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Lyndzi, I agree on your point about the wind 'finishing' but I like the other two bits and, personally, think they are better like that. Unfortunately, you'll have to ...

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Chapter One Critique ----------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Prologue: The Cut Opens. -----------------------------------------------------

Thanks loads Myth and Author13, I've made the changes and I think it's got a lot better. Thanks for the warning about too much repetition, I'll try to watch out ...

Thanks Lilyy03 and Shafter. I've made the changes you suggested and I'll have a look at the beginning when I work out where this story is going :? . I'll ...

Thank you very much HeadInTheClouds, I'm sorry that I haven't written enough but it's a bit of a work in progress. I've made the changes that you highlighted and feel ...